Day 102 - Erase 1981 from History: A Movement.

1981 does not offer nearly enough to still be remembered 40 years on. We don't need it. I am therefore proposing that it be completely stricken from the records. Being born in 1994, I was admittedly not present in 1981. But my lack of real lived experience and understanding only means I am a greater objective adjudicator. The below compilation of 1981’s “highlights” provides irrefutable evidence for this cause.


Movies

Modern Romance (Albert Brooks)
Interesting analysis of relationships, but a bit boring.

Blow Out (Brian De Palma)
What starts off highly promising and original, drops off disappointingly into a very standard crime-action finale.

An American Werewolf in London (John Landis)
People like to say this is amazing, but I don't believe many would really mind if it ceased to exist, at least not as much as they think they would.

My Dinner With Andre (Rex from Toy Story)
An interesting chat, but that’s not enough (also not seen it)

Raiders Of The Lost Ark (Steven Spielberg)
Just watch another Indiana Jones film.

Chariots of Fire (Someone)
Not seen it.

1980 gave us... The Shining, The Elephant Man, Babylon, Raging Bull, Airplane
1982 gave us... The King of Comedy and Bladerunner (even Tootsie and A Midsummer Night’s Sex Comedy are improvements on the meagre efforts of 1981)
1981? Pointless.


Literature

Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie; Cujo by Stephen King; God Emperor of Dune by Frank Herbert (i.e. a collection of famous authors’ lesser books)
1981? Unnecessary.

Music
Gun Club - Fire of Love
A strong album, but it must be sacrificed for the greater good.

Kraftwerk - Computer World
Just listen to a different Kraftwerk album.

Prince - Controversy
The 'An American Werewolf in London' of music (see above).

The Birthday Party - Prayers on Fire
Another strong album, my favourite of the bunch, but there is plenty of Nick Cave elsewhere.

David Byrne & Brian Eno - My Life in the Bush of Ghosts
A dream combo, a decent album, but both have done better.

1980 gave us... Songs the Lord Taught Us, Remain in Light, Closer, Scary Monsters (And Super Creeps) 
1982 gave us... Hex Enduction Hour, Thriller, The Dreaming, plus albums by The Birthday Party and Prince for those upset to lose the 81 releases
1981? Decent. But we can live without it. It must be sacrificed.


Sport

Liverpool won the League Cup. Who cares?
Steve Davis won the Snooker World Championship. That always happened.
Sorry Villa fans. But you still have 1894, 1896, 1897, 1899, 1900 and 1910 (for now)
Sorry Tottenham fans. But you’re used to bad luck.
Sorry John McEnroe. But you still have other US Open and Wimbledon titles.
Sorry England cricket fans. But you still have 2005.

1981? Alright. But we can live without it.



Politics

Thatcher? No thanks.
Reagan? No thanks.
Diana marries Charles? No thanks.

1981? Terrible.


Further Information

Those born in 1981, don’t worry - you will not be exterminated. Instead, rather than using ‘1981’, you will simply use ‘198X’. For example - “John Smith, born 15/02/198X”.


To Conclude

1981 is a complete irrelevance. An unnecessary dreg. It's a waste of resources to keep it.

It is wrong to be pumping resources into maintaining old years that don't offer a return on investment, when hard working families are being asked to tighten their belts. Years must prove that they are economically viable in order to maintain our support. 1981 has clearly failed to do so.

At its absolute best it offers marginal cult followings (but they exist every year). There are no dominant highlights.

Imagine if we put all that time and effort into enjoying 1980 twice as much!

Join me and together we CAN make this happen. This is only the beginning of a long, arduous and boring battle. But if 1981 has given us anything, it is the knowledge that we have the strength and perseverance to survive boredom.

Change is possible. You just have to believe.

Down with 1981!!!!!

WHO’S WITH ME?!!!!!!!!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hacking a Few Onions

I think the abundance of AI articles & Top 10s at the death end of this blog shows my waning enthusiasm for the project. Part of the initial idea was to inspire myself. I'm not sure what for. But since completing Plunge something is missing. So, cutting a slightly desperate figure, I'm back (but not daily).  Do I try and write more sketches? I looked over some notes but either I'm not funny anymore or I no longer find things as funny. "Oh has the world changed or have I changed?" What about opinion pieces? I still have opinions. Who remembers opinions?! Steak and opinions. Pickled opinions. Opinions written down looks a bit like onions. Have I still got it? Opinions? Onions?! Ok maybe I've still got it after all.  Right then. Opinions... Is it hack to criticise woke culture? It seems both tired yet unresolved to me. Is it hack to argue corporation tax should be higher to achieve a fairer allocation of resources? It seems both tired yet unresolved to me. Is...
Read more

Barbie (2023) - Letterboxd Review

To what degree are you able to have an opinion on something which isn't aimed at you?  First and foremost I enjoyed Barbie; I thought it was entertaining from start to finish, consistently funny and had a perfect set production. Wes Anderson could learn a lesson from Barbie in managing to both create a visually striking semi-cartoonish vibrant world AND have an entertaining plot. It was probably the most I've laughed at a film in the cinema since 'The Disaster Artist' in 2017 (maybe 'Long Shot' in 2019). I also agree with the central message of Barbie to such an extent that I didn't bother raising my minor quibbles in the discussion during the walk-home (they weren't strong enough to outweigh my overall consensus with the film, which for my own safety, I will keep reinforcing). I've saved critiques for here, where nobody can instil fear by glaring with tired exasperation as I, a man, meekly offer my perspective in a state of significant stress and pa...
Read more

Safe (1995) - Letterboxd Review

As much as we are presented some level of understanding and guidance in life, the pursuit of contentedness in an isolated society is alienating. Fear of being a burden to everybody around you can inflict self-deterioration and once isolated from your own identify, all that is left is fear. Centred around a suburban housewife driven to self-destruction by a subservience, there is a dominant feminist theme throughout which remains true and strongly relevant to this day. But as well as this, in an anxiety-ridden contemporary world which wasn't ready for the internet, Safe now has even further relevance across a broader range of spectrums. Once society has left you alienated, it inevitably falls on the fringes to present some form of solace. This is particularly pertinent in the increasingly divisive age of social media, echo chambers, culture wars, algorithmically personalised media, biased news coverage, conspiracy theories, divisive online influencers, provocative clickbait, commune...
Read more