Day 23 - Something Else Now!

It's a shame that over the past few days there has been a distinct lack of emotive lexicon in my writing. A logical robot dominates my mind. I imagine it stems from a reticent disposition to deter from being excessive for fear of seeming disingenuous; I hate to make a big deal of things even when they are significantly impactful. Or it could stem from fear of confronting heightened emotion directly without diverting attention. I mostly do this through humour but humour hasn't exactly suited the last few blogs so instead I am left with writing which is overly analytical and lacking in poetry and emotion. Well, at least that's me. Which to be fair does make it genuine in a sense, so maybe it's okay.

ANYWAY SOMETHING ELSE NOW

Time to snap out of it. I espouse silliness and nonsense so lets put my money where my mouth is and distract myself out of this repetitive self-analysis. Here are some things:

Here's an idea. How about a flannel, but instead of just being for your face, it's for your whole body!

Life tip - remember to treat everybody the same, but also be mindful and considerate and treat them differently.

Your generation doesn't know what a proper zoo is.

Imagine if just by pure chance. An infinitely small chance but not 100% impossible, that you just so happened to have never seen a dog or never heard any mention of one. Then one day you're with a group of mates and you see a dog walk by. Imagine. How would that go? One to think about.

Every tweet which starts with the word "Siri" would work without it and would also be 100x less annoying

Would an audience cheer at absolutely anything at, say a Foo Fighters gig or some stadium rock band, even if they said stuff like "who's ever rode a bus?" or "do we all have bags under our eyes?"

Dissolvable clothes - Dissolve in your bath and also doubles up as a bath bomb. Avoid the rain.

Bald Anonymous - For people who are too ashamed to admit to people that they are bald. "I still haven't told my parents", an imposter at the meeting who is wearing a wig etc etc

If you're switching job from airport baggage handler to working the till at a supermarket you have to do training so that you don't launch customers shopping through the air.

A toilet which flushes boiling water. Easily removes skid marks but a significant threat to your arsehole.

Clare Balding should be called Clare Volume.