Day 14 - I Don't Want to be Offensive as Much as I Want a Bakewell Pudding

"Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records, well I do. So fuck him and fuck you too" - Eminem

That line always gets me. So concisely managing to bluntly make his point, be confrontational to both one specific person plus everybody else, whilst also being funny. Nails it.

As a conflict avoidant worrier, I particularly enjoy those public icons who unapologetically voice honest cutting opinions. Eminem, Frankie Boyle, Mark E Smith, Bill Burr, Morrissey, Doug Stanhope, Larry David, Trey Parker etc. An added bonus is it usually comes hand in hand with strong comedic qualities.

“I said, ‘Shut them cunts up!’ And they were still warming up, so I threw a bottle at them" - Mark E Smith on Mumford & Sons

Unlike me, these people are unafraid and I envy this quality. However I am also aware of the associated difficulties of behaving in this way. Constantly offending people isn't a stress-free ride, not if you care what people think. If you don't care, problem solved. Unfortunately I do, so I must continue to experience only vicarious catharsis of blunt honesty.

"I wish the very very worst for Joyce for the rest of his life" - Morrissey on The Smiths drummer Mike Joyce

Idolise isn't the word, but my appreciation levels for them exercising this ability are high. Being an internally cutting and critical, yet outwardly polite and quiet person, I am particularly impressed by it.  The one problem with supressing harsh truths is that they still exist bubbling under the surface and in moments of weakness they rise to the surface and you're mentally ill equipped to deal with the consequences. 

"There's no such thing as addiction. There's only things you enjoy doing more than life" - Doug Stanhope (There are other more out-there Stanhope quotes but not quite suitable for this public blog I don't think!)

I could spend longer finding more quotes and further articulating my perspective on this matter, but it is a sunny bank holiday and I don't want to be offensive as much as I want a Bakewell pudding.

"They got these hashtags like, you know, 'Believe women'. That’s a little open-ended, huh? Just straight across the board, all of them. Every last one of them? What about the psychos?" - Bill Burr

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