Day 16 - You're the Voice, Try and Get My Tablet

You wake up earlier than your partner on a weekend morning and after an hour scrolling on your phone you realise you ran out of things to look at half an hour ago. You must go downstairs. They're still not awake so every effort is put into being as quiet as possible, despite knowing that your movement alone most likely makes noise an irrelevance. Making effort to be quiet always seems to produce extra noise so you escape louder then you normally do, extending the unavoidable creak on the door as you leave. You get downstairs and realise you've left something you need in the bedroom. Bastard.

For me this morning it was a tablet that I am required to take 30 minutes before food because otherwise a valve at the bottom of my oesophagus loosens and my head becomes under attack from my insides, antagonised by food being launched at them. My first tactic to offset my hunger is to take a break from writing this and have a coffee. 

Coffee made. Hopefully I'll hear some movement upstairs within the next half an hour or my hunger may force me to undertake a path of unwanted rudeness. Then nobody will be happy. Well, maybe my head will be relieved to not be under friendly fire.

One tactic to deal with this is go all out and hope the comedy somewhat makes up for it. Absolutely blast open the door, airhorns a-firing, belting out a rendition of John Farnham's "You're the Voice" whilst jumping up and down on the bed. They are unlikely to be happy but if you find it funny at least someone has got something positive out of this interaction - a 50% increase on nobody being happy. The more sensible and undoubtedly correct course of action is to walk in like a normal person and be apologetic. Not as funny though. 

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