Day 19 - Too Trite for a Title

Why have I done this again? Why have I forced this daily task upon myself? Low expectations for this one - written on the train on my phone with half a brain. You could argue the case for the latter regardless so maybe nothing noticeable will really change. I'll do my best to not be too trite or cringe.

Personality flaws creep up on you over time, even if you try to ignore them, which coincidentally I've become painfully aware is one of mine. Communication deficits paired with a lack of emotional intelligence and mental strength has inevitably backfired. Being incapable of addressing situations and so deferring serious conversation isn't a sustainable long term plan. But what is?

Today I listened to an episode of the Wolf & Owl podcast which was so specifically relevant whilst not being at all helpful. It was Episode 21 of Season 2, so not even a new one. Pure chance that this particular episode would cruelly fall my way at this moment in time. Some would call it fate, I wouldn't. I'd call it a very annoying and upsetting coincidence when trying to find respite in an easy going comedy podcast. It essentially seemed to rehash the exact confusions of the past year or so but concluding on the opposite outcome. Great.

"You're doing the right thing in talking about it"

"Excitement won't last, that will just fade naturally because you get used to being with that person"

"All relationships kinda go like that"

"Sometimes you've just got to realise the positives. The fact you've been in a relationship as long as you have and you're still getting on is a really positive thing."

"There's something shit about human nature which wants what you don't have. If you're single you want a relationship but if you're in a relationship you feel trapped."


What do I want? What do I expect? Does the body rule the mind or does the mind rule the body? I dunno... Coincidentally I have decided to not bother going into work tomorrow. 

Just to add insult to injury, a bunch of loud Meadowhall teenagers have swarmed onto the train. Brilliant. 

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