Day 20 - Emotion vs Logic

As a general natural inclination I tend to side with logic so when faced with a scenario of it being defied by emotion, despite numerous attempts at rationalising using the former, it is difficult to know what to do. I've known my mental wellbeing has deteriorated since around 2021. One logical approach to tackle this was to write this blog. In retrospect, maybe to some extent I was hoping to logic my brain back into gear and work out the answers which would sort everything out.

Instead the catharsis tirade continues and logic has not gotten me anywhere. When logic doesn't apply there isn't really much left. What is there to discuss and analyse? Just some maddening vagueness.

Although there is still one form of logic which I can apply somewhat. Avoidance. But I don't want to talk about it. 

I've always hated eye contact. Possibly because it's too real and I lack the emotional maturity to face reality and address situations honestly. But I still have my excuses. The turmoil of ambiguous complications was and still is far from clear, meaning my logically approached rationale did not help. After almost 6 years everything was mainly good. There was the odd thing of course, but isn't there always? To what extent does the odd thing qualify as a clear determining factor? What a huge decision to make through largely ignoring logic.

(I'm even avoiding directly confronting and specifying what I'm talking about right in this very entry.)

Another form of avoidance which probably would have helped would have been to talk to friends and family. I should have done that but again I avoided this for some reason. I guess I wasn't sure how serious it was and so wasn't sure if it was worth mentioning. The reality however, most likely is that as mentioned above - I am, for the most part, incapable of serious conversations. A combination of pride and a lack of intelligence? Maybe the outcome would have had a similar conclusion anyway.

I don't know.