Day 21 - Fault & Wallow (Reprise)

There's something fundamental about myself which I need to sort out. I know what I want so how do I convince myself of it? My idiot brain could well be my downfall and I seemingly have little control over it. It is essentially the driving force of my being so maybe I just have to accept that it might slowly destroy me.

Maybe it was the slow build up of pressure of having to make life changing and life long decisions. Well I've got a life changing decision now. Things are about to change and I'm not optimistic for which direction. I seem to be determined to seek out some sort of unhappiness.

At least this blog provides some form of aim and distraction, although I expect my motivation levels will wane. Today's reprise of my first entry (from 20 days prior) suggests I am prone to feeling sorry for myself regardless. Is depression a fundamentally selfish act? Writing a daily blog is definitely some form of self importance. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. Me. I am my own worst enemy - That's something isn't it.

I have no idea what to do. So re-hash. A re-hash but under different circumstances, the classic sequel formula.

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