Day 63 – Early Rising Hubris

For my hubris in eulogising over yesterday’s above-par sleep I have been punished with an unscheduled 5am start today. Easy come easy go. Maybe tomorrow I’ll cash in - would be nice on a Saturday.

A bank holiday of negligible plans is in some senses freeing but in others causes a level of regret-fuelled anxiety. It is the FPL climax on Sunday, which being a bank holiday is okay, but equally I have a whole Friday evening, Saturday day and Saturday evening, not to mention Sunday morning and early afternoon, to get through before that. It is this sort of instinctive train of thought which wishes your life away. Ideally I would be looking forward to 3 days off, but instead I am wondering how to fast forward my freedom.

The obvious answer is to watch a film, but I’ve had plenty of cinema trips recently and I have plenty planned too. Lacking any creative spark, a film is still probably the answer. I don’t know why that idea is depressing me; Hopefully by later I’ll feel less depressed by that idea. Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation. Another option is to try to refine some comedy sketches but despite the validation of one of my sketches being on the radio tonight, I don’t feel much of a compulsion. I know I should do this, but the word “should” evokes an immediate reluctance followed by a sinking feeling and that is no mindset for comedy. Or maybe it is but it’s not motivating and I’m lazy at the best of times. I’ll just end up with pointless uninspired stuff like this.

It's a shame given that waking up early has given me surplus time to fill and yet I’m seemingly unable to make use of it in my writing. Feeling uninspired also seems to coincide with the more diary-like entries which are definitely my least favourite. This needs to end soon because it’s rubbish and there is no sooner time than now so I am putting an end to this now.

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