Day 74 - No Sedation

As the pre-procedure assessment was taking place I grew increasingly unconvinced of the benefits of being sedated for yesterday's procedure. Having to endure another stress of intravenous injection only to gain partial sedation followed by after effects lasting 24 hours. Flashbacks to my previous gas and air "sedation-ish" experience offering very little value (detrimental if anything) on top of these doubts made me call bullshit on this so-called sedation. The decision was made - no sedation for me (well, sort of, I asked if I could try without first).

Needless to say, having a camera on a wire shoved down your throat was very unpleasant. It is sort of like if you swallowed a large boiled sweet whole but then after you swallow it, it is still there and your brain understands this makes sense because you know what is happening, but your body's response is thrown into disarray but why its natural reflex solution to this problem isn't working. It is also stressful. The awareness of knowing what is happening is difficult to distract yourself from, especially when there is this persistent miscommunication between body and brain.

The doctor told me some things he found but I was in a mild state of panic so I have absolutely no recollection of what he said. Something about inflammation and something about 8 weeks. That's okay, I'll get a letter. The main thing is I feel some sort of sense of achievement in knowing I am able to withstand something mildly torturous, which stands me in good stead for old age.